The Talented Can Suck It

You know who you are. You're making us feel bad about ourselves and I'll politely ask that you knock it the fuck off.

You see them everywhere-TV, billboards, magazines. Talented people. Sure, they seem harmless enough. All they're doing is excelling in music or art or science or medicine and fucking up my day because I'm bad at all of those things. I'll try, but that doesn't mean I'll ever be any good and in this day and age that is just unacceptable.

We are all God's special children/unique snowflakes/can beat up your honor student. Failure is not an option and I don't see why I should change. Its not my fault that these people are so talented. They should keep it to themselves.

Wikipedia is the key source of my frustration. Before Wikipedia you had to search all over the place for information and who had the time? It was the go-go 90s, we had worthless stock to buy. But then came the 2000s, the decade of "Mission Accomplished." That meant we had plenty of free time to sit around and edit a free online encyclopedia which was chock full of soul crushing information. I'll provide an example:

"Wow, Random Actor X was accepted into Tisch at 16. Wow, Baseball Player Y had three World Series rings by age 24. This really puts my job snaking toilets at the retirement home at age 33 into perspective."

That's detrimental to peoples self esteem and we just can't have that. We're trying to get this country back on its feet, get the economy out of the dumps. We need movers and shakers, not people feeling bad about themselves. People who are good at things just need to stop doing those things on camera for the greater good. Having something to aspire to only serves as a remind of what we will never be: important. We need to live in a vacuum where we're rewarded for our delusions. If I think I'm the hard boiled egg eating champion of New Jersey, I must be. I don't see anyone better. Or for that matter, someone telling me that stupid shit like that doesn't matter.

Life is about feeling good and the people who make themselves feel good by doing allegedy "great" and "socially acceptable" things should stop. We all just want our time in the sun, even if that sun is the unwelcome glow of a police helicopter spotlight bearing down on us because we just kidney punched Stephanie Pratt because we feel that we're more deserving of being famous for nothing.

None of this is about me though. Why do you think my posts are so few and far between? I don't want the shitty bloggers feeling down on themselves, obviously. Duh.