Devil without a cause, and I'm back with the beaver hats and Ben Davis slacks.

I make a lot of promises. I have a nasty habit of saying I'm going to do this and this and this and then proceed to do nothing. With that in mind, I will now talk about my plans.

First of all, the blog is now crazy marketable because I've taken the word "cunt" out of the title. Not like I'm trying to make money off of this but some people find it needless. So voluntarily forced to change it I went with a Brooker reference as he does these things better than I. I think the only reason I'm writing this now is because I've been watching so much Screenwipe. As a matter of fact, I'm typing in his voice. Does this mean I have no creativity or mind of my own? Potentially. But who cares? You don't even know who he is so its new to you. Ideally you become an original product of your influences. You hear a lot of Stooges influence when you listen to Fucked Up, but their sound is unmistakably theirs.

But heres why I'm writing again: I just feel like talking. I've had no outlet, and while I don't think most of what I have to say is worth hearing, I do have my flashes of brilliance. Writing angry tweets and Facebook comments and then waiting for someone to open the door for my screaming doesn't get the best results. Say something incendiary, someone responds, drop the hammer. No one cares for it but me. So I'm just going to write and see what happens. No gimmicks or countdowns or bringing in an army of writers. No tedious talking down to the audience that I don't have. I have my opinions and I'd like to share them with whoever is willing to listen. You're free to come and go as you'd like. My life doesn't depend on readers.

And while this is in the vein of what I want to be known for to some extent, I don't need to worry about it being perfect. This is practice, me working things out. Its what you're willing to do for free that gets you ahead. I hate to even suggest that this blog could turn into anything more than a soapbox for over the top vitriol but if Perez Hilton made a career out of it, anything is possible. Now hes hanging out with Katy Perry. Not that I'd really want that. She seems painfully unfunny and has a stupid face. Though I doubt she'd be too interested in me either, what with my paleness and stammering and constant look of misery. So Katy Perry and I hate each other. Its been decided. My first celebrity feud. Its only uphill from here.